Some may say she’s a fatherless daughter
Yet, that’s not what he taught her
Every cell of her being
Sings with his strings of DNA
The immediate way she searches the sky
When birdsong sounds nearby
Some may say she’s a fatherless daughter
Yet, that’s not what he taught her
The loss was sudden, relatively so
And the absence too new
To fully sink through
While the pain strikes each day, harder
She’ll never believe she’s a fatherless daughter
This is offered for the Rondele prompt at dversepoets.com. I’ve been absent for quite awhile, from September to January we lost two parents and one has been in and out of the hospital and rehab 8 times. My mom is still recovering (actually quite well) from a second broken hip (now she has a matched set). My dad (who was a great teacher, but who also suffered from depression) passed away in December. It is still surreal, and hence the poem. Please forgive the deviation from form, in the last line…my first attempt to process my dad’s passing poetically.
This is breathtakingly sorrowful… and yes modifying the refrains slightly is a hallmark of great rondels and villanelles… I’m so sorry for your loss… but I’m happy that you have found your way back to dVerse…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you very much Bjorn. It’s nice to be back. Dverse has always been one of my favorite places to be.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So sorry for your loss. This is beautifully expressed. I believe science and art are made for each other. I love to incorporate science into my poetry from time-to-time.
LikeLike
Pingback: In Absentia | The Scientist's Daughter
This spoke to me as I lost my father 22 years ago and I still miss him, yet he is with me always. I, too, am not a fatherless daughter. As far as not exactly following the form, my belief is that poetry forms are made to be broken, or at least bent, to the will of the poet to say what needs to be said. That you have done. Peace, Linda
LikeLike
I m so sorry for your loss..such a touching write.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Sanaa
LikeLike
what a perfect way to process your loss.
LikeLike
Actually, I like your deviations from standard form. The message is clarion. Like a train wreck, there is no good time to lose a parent. My mother-in-law died in July, right after her 90th birthday. My own mother died at 39. Nice to read you again.
LikeLike
Such a touching piece of writing. That makes it great.
LikeLike
No one is a fatherless daughter, I don’t think. The father’s genes live on and have their influence.
Heredity is as strong as environment!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Mary, for some reason that phrase kept running through my head. I’m definitely a product of both. Nice to see you again
LikeLike
So very sorry for your loss, Sara. No, you will never be a fatherless daughter. I’m very touched that you chose to write to help process your very new loss…and to share it with us. I know that it can be helpful and I commend you for that. Yours is a very touching and sincere poem, beautifully written.
Gayle ~
LikeLike
Gayle, Thank you very much for the support and lovely note. Dverse has always been full of heart and it’s one of my favorite places.
LikeLike
Your father lives on in your heart and memories – my deepest sympathy for your loss. This made me teary eyed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He definitely does. So many things he shared and taught me, it’s like second nature, and I think of him every time
LikeLike
Oh, Sara. This is deeply, deeply beautiful. My neighbor and friend just lost her dad last night. This touches me so much. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am SO sorry for your losses. Many prayers.
LikeLike
Hi De, thank you for the kind words, it really didn’t feel like a great first effort, but it felt good to write again, feeling rust after my hiatus. Several friends have lost parents recently, it has been a sad time. Very sorry for your friends–love and prayers to them and their families. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much.
As my own parents age into their early 70s, I can only imagine what you are going through. They are such an essential part of my life, and my kids’ lives.
LikeLike
Yes, it has been a struggle. It’s a wonderful thing to have them so close to us. And, I am grateful that we have had these extra years with them. My dad lived until 83, and my mother-in-law to 90. My father-in-law who is getting better, just turned 87, and my 83 year old mom is getting her aide to do “crunches” with her!
LikeLike
I am so sorry for your terrible losses. Your poem was lovely and heroic.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Sarah, thank you for your kind words
LikeLike
Thank you for the kind words, Sarah
LikeLike
I am so sorry for your loss, dearheart! You have expressed it profoundly in this poem!
LikeLike
Your endearment made me smile–thank you for the support and love
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is my pleasure. Bless you!
LikeLike
so sorry for your loss….the physical absence is overwhelming….still the loved one stays with us forever in our heart….the heartfelt words are so touching…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Sumana, thank you very much for the kindness and support.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sara…..the writing here is empowering….giving substance to your grief and love both. To lose a parent is heartwrenching and then to have the additional stress you describe here, all the more concerning. Keep writing. Keep processing. There are angels circling round your head, reminding you that you are never a fatherless daughter. He is a part of who you are, every day. And just as importantly, they gather to say, take care of yourself. Be gentle with your self. Find time for yourself to rest and just be. I’m glad you’ve come back to dVerse — I’ve found it a very caring community. And sometimes it is nice to “slip into our words” and to read the words of others. Take care, Sara…….many are there for you.
LikeLike
Oh my goodness…*sniffle* you really touched me with your caring words and verbal embrace. Dverse is very caring. And it is nice to slip into our words (I love that image) and read others. It’s always been inspiring to read all the talented works of everyone. Thank you so much for your comment and support. I seriously needed some tissues afterwards ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
So sorry for your loss, Sara. I feel you in this poem. I tell my husband that I am an orphan, I lost both parents. He doesn’t understand . Your poem touched me. Sending you hugs.
LikeLike
Ayala, I’m so sorry that you have lost both parents, that would make you feel orphaned. Thank you so much for the hugs and empathy. I’ve always enjoyed our conversation and sharing poetry ❤
LikeLike
SMiLes.. wE are ALL
ONE.. N0W.. hidden
truth we are aLL
mothers
and fathers
brothers
and sisters
oF ALLONE
tribe.. unTil..
wE own each other
and Nature.. aS LieS..:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love it, a poetic comment! Thank you
LikeLike
Sara, I am so sorry I have been out of touch in these past months. I found an old comment from you and it linked back here.
Your loss is palpable. Huge changes for your parents – both, as one lives with worsened circumstances. And your dad, well, I understand the whole depression thing, but I am not going to do that “He’s all smiley in Heaven” crap because frankly, it doesn’t help. Just know you are in my prayers. I will check out some more recent work as well but I didn’t want this affecting, heartfelt work go without a mention of your artistry. Love, Amy
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amy, thank you for this. Your heart always comes through so clearly, and I appreciate the love very much. I haven’t been writing much. The good news is my mom is stronger and feeling better. Hugs!
LikeLike
i’m sorry for the loss of your dad – glad that his strings of DNA sing on in you – you know
hope your mom recovers quickly from the surgery
hugs & blessings your way
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Claudia. My mom is doing well ❤
LikeLike